If you’re like me, you find it very hard to keep your d*ck dry. I left my d*ck unprotected, and it was worked out of shape in no time. I could barely recognize my own d*ck. Imagine that. Then I discovered Schaeffers New Zealand Style D*ck Sealant, the best way to take care of your d*ck in three easy steps. First, wash your d*ck with soap and water. Then, wait for your d*ck to dry. Once your d*ck is clean and dry, paint your d*ck with Schaeffers D*ck Sealant. I used to be too embarrassed to invite people to see my d*ck. But now, my d*ck’s the talk of the town. I even have pictures of my d*ck. Check out that d*ck. I wanna send this to my secretary. Barbara always loves to receive my d*ck pics. After all, summer time is all about spending time on your d*ck. I often have twenty to thirty people on my d*ck, at once! That can really wear your d*ck out, causing d*ck splinters and discoloration. But with Schaeffers D*ck Sealant, my d*ck stays a nice golden brown color. Who wouldn’t want a golden d*ck? I used to never let children anywhere near my d*ck. My d*ck was too dangerous for kids to play on. But it seems like every kid in the neighborhood has been on my d*ck this summer. And they’ve all had a good time. My d*ck’s over seventy years old, but it looks brand new. That’s part of the reason all my neighbors are jealous of my d*ck. Isn’t that right, John? Yes, you’ve got a nice d*ck, okay?! His wife is always on my d*ck, begging me to know the secret of my perfect d*ck. If you like Schaeffers D*ck Sealant, check out Schaeffers New Zealand Style C***k. I had a huge hole in my d*ck, but I fixed it by jamming some c***k in it. You’d be surprised how many things you can f*** by jamming c***k into them. Have an extra large hole in your d*ck? Try Schaeffers African Style C***k. Just go to your local home improvement store, and ask for the big black c***k. Schaeffers New Zealand Style D*ck Sealant. Don’t put it on your penis. There’s also a helpful number on the back. Hi! I’ve got a question about my d*ck. Scheffers New Zealand Sty– Hey, get that squirrel off my d*ck! He knows he’s not allowed to come on my d*ck!