Last time on Diamondbolt looks at bad commercials The gang on the loose
Nothin’ you can do The Beast on the move
Bully comin’ through This time All right last time. I looked at some funny toy commercials, but this time I figure we could take a look at some funny video game commercials Because gamers are a demographic that companies have no idea how to market towards And as a result, they create some of the dumbest and most ridiculous things I’ve ever had to witness So without further ado, let’s get right into it I figured we should start with Playstation because…
of course where else would you start Now we all know about Sony’s more… interesting (creepy) ads take this one for example ＼(〇_ｏ)／ 〣( ºΔº )〣 Yeah, that’s enough of that forever But did you know that their marketing department
has been on drugs since the 90s? Take, for instance, the original crash bandicoot
marketing campaign? Wait isn’t this a Playstation commercial? Oh no Crash don’t do it Hey plumber boy moustache man Your worst nightmare has arrived Pack up your stuff I got a little surprise for you here
Check it out Whaddya think about that? We got real-time 3 Uhhh, the fingers
Ohhh that’s not okay How’s that make you feel buddy Feeling a little like your days are numbered? Imma gonna have to ask you to leave The f*** did you just say? Well looks like Crash is gonna get copyrighted
by Nintendo for so much is referencing Mario Now if you thought that was weird Take a look at what Sega used to do
during their console war with Nintendo This one’s just called angry black guy hmmmmmmmmmm HEY!!!
Σ(O_O) You still don’t have a Sega CD?
What are you waiting for Nintendo to make one? A Nintendo Sega CD? You have seen the games right? There are games? Wrong answer man show em (OMG DDLC!!!) Wanna see more?
(Not really) This is story Earthworm Jim video game oh hai granny Oh God granny no (´π`) BAD TOUCH Look let me ask you
Does this make you want to buy the game? No? Didn’t think so Gotta go, hey guy
you’re the first serious gamer I’ve seen all morning. Well, I wonder why?
Considering your entire gaming section is just 2 TVs Check this out, brand-new 16-bit Super Nintendo
It’s Supah Mario waaaaaaahhh This is a Sonic the Hedgehog from Sega Genesis Hey look at these raaaaaad new colors huh Wow Sonic is fast too
C=C=C=C=C=┌(;・ω・)┘ Noooo, over here ← ← I like Genesis Look man, the guy “clearly” knows what’s better and it costs a lot less Wait kid that game there…
I’ll take Sonic And…Genesis Oops someone forgot their line Sonic the Hedgehog more action more speed
Sega Genesis It’s a whole lot more for less Absolutely roasted Nintendo
Let’s see what Sega was competing with Well that’s… incredibly disturbing (⊙_⊙) MARIO NO!!!!!
(Of course it has to be Yoshi) I’ll f***ing kill you son of a
(DB is trying his best to imitate Mario) Something’s gone wrong in the
happy go lucky world of Nintendo Introducing Super Smash Brothers
where all your favorite characters go toe to toe Bravo Nintendo, I’m sure no kids at all will traumatize watching Yoshi getting his face smashed in There are no words for this next one (=_=) Did you see the latest Nintendo news letter? Wow nice graphics I’d like to get my hands on that game You mean you haven’t played it yet? We can play it on my Nintendo Entertainment System (Wait for it) ♪ It’s The Legend of Zelda and its really rad
Those creatures from Ganon are pretty bad Octoroks, tektites and leevers too
(Hang in there DB) But with your help, our hero pulls through! Yeah, Go Link, Yeah, Get Zelda!
Wikki Wikki Wick! What is that sound? Awesome Intense The Nintendo Entertainment System
your parents help you hook it up The Legend of Zelda sold separately We really need this commercial to make a comeback
it would be amazing in modern times It’s The Legend of Zelda It’s pretty gay
Those creatures from Ganon can go away (・_・;) (There’s a subbed version of this on Youtube) (Just search Legend of Zelda Rap
TV Japanese Commercial) (Can’t believe I actually searched it) Go Link get Zelda with your sick ass dance moves I’ll take a million copies, please Ok, that’s gonna be ingrained in my nighmares forever I hope Nintendo’s improved with newer commercials Yoshi’s Woolly World
Brand new yarn Yoshi Spring Yoshi, Fling Yoshi Tie the boss in string Yoshi Zoom Yoshi, Boom Yoshi Finding a secret room Yoshi Die Yoshi Cry Yoshi Shut the f*** up Yoshi Down Yoshi, Underground Yoshi Jump Yoshi, then Pound Yoshi Wooshi?! Sorry what? It’s a Double Yoshi Exploshi(?!) Stop (╯`Д´)╯彡┻┻ If I win it’s breakfast in bed for a week
Prepare to be embarrassed Hit Daddy ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ I heard that don’t hit me Wow that was a cheap shot Is that a shortcut? Maybe ┐(￣∀￣)┌ How you even do that? Gotta practice Get Mario Kart 8 today
and you too can assault your own father Get together with Mario Kart 8 only on Wii U We’ll make this quick Family time’s dropping fast people Hey look. It’s the Wii U sales Wii U With Wii U, we can play Super Mario 3D World Find secrets with the Wii U gamepad and I love the mom’s face What is this, the Xbox? Just check out the simulation Look at that Yeah look like I’ve been upgraded ( ☉д⊙) Get a gift to family
when you upgrade to Wii U for [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] Why does Nintendo feel the need to do this
cringe-worthy garbage Just say Hey Look Wii U Mario BUY IT $$$$$$$$$ Oh god damn it Nintendo At least Atari’s commercials are good Right? HEY!!! Yeah? You look like a real jerk Well, I am a corporate executive Ooo someone got fired Well people whose name I don’t really care about And I are going on a Sunday Drive. Oh no you ain’t You’re gonna play POLE POSITION!!! I NEED AN ADDUUUULT Well this went from zero to a billion really quick If there was ever a good example of
false advertising it’s this Look at the game and now look at the commercial Introducing Alien versus Predator For the 64-bit Atari Jaguar In stunning 2 frames per second You might not wanna play it alone Haaah ┐( ´ д ` )┌ That was the worst scream ever That’s the sound of Youtube let’s player makes when they’re faking their reaction to
Five Nights at Freddy’s Why would an alien waste time doing that?
Why not just eat him or something? Notice me Senpai σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡ Microsoft Xbox, please Uh, I already don’t like this one… NOOOOOOOOOOO ─=≡Σ((( つ＞＜)つ (Watdafaq) Ok, for this commercial we’re gonna have a man
shoot out of a woman and then launched across the entire world Yeah that’ll make them buy a Xbox Hell Yeah! Good job team! ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ Hey I found some more weird Sega ones Uh-oh Is this going anywhere or…?? NO!!!!! NO THAT IS NOT OK!!!!! So um is the eye removal optional or… How well did the Sega Saturn do again? Ah yeah that’s right, it didn’t What a tone shift (o´∀`o) See this commercial is metaphorical of
what playing Sonic R is like Being beaten by an elderly, Japanese man Hey, I dare you to guess what game
this one’s advertising （・∀・） Ah yes, of course, Final Fantasy yes, I see Ok, maybe I picked a bad example
with the Wii U commercials “Surely” all of Nintendo’s commercials can’t be that bad Here is the true story
(My name is Jeff) Delivering a video game and find out what happens when you stop being themselves and start being someone else Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube Today I was like let’s redecorate the house And I was like me we should buy some furniture first What does this have to do with the game?
Nothing about this has anything to do with the game! Nice outfit Where’d you get it, a garbage dump? Uhhhh Yeah No NO! STOP Nintendo DON’T!!! Don’t do this
(Ear Rape Ahead) You’re a squid! You’re a kid! STOP Nintendo, you make wonderful games But you have no idea how marketing works Please stop Sincerely everyone Well, I think I can safely say that was
even worse than the toy commercials Now if you excuse me I’m gonna go bleach my eyes out
and attempt to remove my ears so um… bye-bye