*sniff* Hey, guys! So you probably already heard all the hype around Pokémon GO by now. Unless you’ve been living under a Geodude. *snicker* It’s literally everywhere. Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram! And that’s just online! Turn off your computer, they’re talking about it on TV. You go outside to a park or grocery store or anything public, there’s probably people playing there, too. I mean, there’s been so much hype around POKEMON GO that I’ve been starting to see it in places that it’s not. [Pokémon GO map music] *GASP* ~* A wild Oddish appeared! *~ *Oh, it’s a plant…* [Pokémon GO map music] *GASP* ~* A wild Onix appeared! *~ *Oh, it’s just poop…* *…from Marley* [Pokémon GO map music] ~* A wild Jynx appeared! *~ *Nope, it’s just Greg!* *shrug – why not?* *Greg’s parents are the proudest ever* *Yay! Congrats! OMG!* What?! Don’t act like you wouldn’t catch her too! I mean, she’s still rare. It’s better than catching another Taylor Swift again! That’s all there is around here. And NO, before all you ~Swifties~ jump to conclusions – I’m not saying Taylor Swift is a Rattata because she looks like a rat. Rat-ta-ta? Ruh-ta-ta? RATTATA! It’s a Vine meme. RATTATA~! She’s a Rattata because Rattatas are everywhere (like Swifties) and even if you don’t wanna see or hear another one, you’re still going to. And also because Rattata can learn the ability “Swift” – and just like Taylor Swift, they might not be the best attack but it’s still gonna be a hit. Because Swift doesn’t miss. OK, enough Pokémon jargon. Jargon? I don’t know why I-I used that word. I’ve never used that word before. It sounds like a pokémon! Jargon! JARGON! Jargon! Jar-JARGON~! See, this is exactly what I’m talking about. It is the ’90s again! And it is all about Pokémon! It has taken over the world – AGAIN! And this time around, it’s not something to be ashamed of. I mean, when I played Pokémon and collected Pokémon cards as a kid, I had to do it, like, almost in secret. Because back then, playing Pokémon m-made you a nerd, it-w-it made you uncool! and now the tables have turned- and the chair as well We now live in a day and age where playing Pokémon does not make you a – well, I mean, we’re all still nerds – but there’s more of us now! Pokémon GO has once again made Pokémon the biggest thing in the world right now. And no one should be happier about it than me. I’ve always been a super Pokémon fan. I mean, I played all the games from the beginning. Pokémon RED, BLUE, GREEN, YELLOW… Pokémon Snap, Pokémon Pinball… I watched every episode of Pokémon that was on TV! I even had the Pokémon soundtrack so that I could memorize all the songs! ♫ I’m on the road to Viridian City! ♫ Not a part of my life I’m particularly proud of… But you need to know how big of a Pokémon fan I am in order to truly understand me when I say this: I’m not trying to be a hater or a downer or anything but I can’t be the only one who absolutely loves Pokémon that doesn’t love Pokémon GO! *collective GASP of horror* Sean: You’re just jealous! dana : you just suck that’s why! Paco Yellow: You don’t know sh*t! Derrick: Well, don’t play then, you f*cking piece of sh*t! Will: Don’t even play it then! *censored beeps of Pokémon GO fans cursing Ryan the f*ck out* *beep beep beeeeeeep BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* *flatline* Oh, I forgot to put in the black bars. *fingersnap* And now, the text. *fingersnap* Pretty accurate. Look, I don’t hate the game. But in my honest opinion, I was a little disappointed. Especially after all the commercials they put out that to, y’know, get everybody excited about it. And trust me, I had normal expectations. I wasn’t expecting the game to look like the commercial. That’s an unrealistic expectation. Well, maybe not. I mean there is virtual reality now. But to go from this to this, it’s a little misleading. I still think it’s a great idea and I know this game took like 10 or 20 years to get done but I think it still wasn’t ready to be released. The way I see it, it’s not even really a Pokémon game. It’s a Google Maps styled with a Pokémon… It’s Pokémon’s least like Pokémon ga… What am I saying?! That did not make sense. How do I describe this better in 2016? Oh. *fingersnap* Pokémon GO is basically Google Maps mixed with Foursquare with a Pokémon Snapchat filter on it. Fam with no chill lit savage f-finna turnt up… [awkward silence] *ryan dabs* Ow! See? I’m still… I’m still hip! But you know what? It’s not even the look about Pokémon GO that bothers me. I can get past that. It’s the fact that half the time, you can’t even sign into the game because the servers are down or they’re “experiencing difficulties.” And maybe it’s just me but even when you can sign in, when you are playing the game it just freezes randomly Especially for some reason when you finally catch something – something that you spent a lot of time looking for. And it kills your battery faster than any game I’ve ever played before. Look, I could go on for a long time but I didn’t made this video to hate on Pokémon GO. In fact, I actually hope that the game becomes more successful so that they can put some money into it and then, I can finally play it! And who knows? The game is so popular and they’re making so much money that they’re probably already working on a second version that looks like the commercial. So for all of you who haven’t given it a shot yet, especially if you’re someone who loves Pokémon like me, don’t have high expectations and it’s still a fun game. I mean, when you can actually play it. Just don’t expect it to look like the commercials. Don’t expect it to be what we all wished for as kids: POKEMON in the real world. Because it’s not quite there yet. In the downtime that I was actually waiting for the Pokémon GO servers to come back, I whipped something together that would help you with that. Here’s a more honest commercial of what Pokémon GO is really like in the form of the same show that we all grow up with and loved watching. I mean, except for the kids who didn’t even know that show existed. fam. lit. savage. no chill. *ryan dabs again* Oh my god, I’m not gonna put that in – yes, I am! *Image of Ash from the official pokemon television series appears* On the last episode of Pokémon GO, Ryan finally spotted the rarest of Pokémon: MEWTWO! With only seconds to react, Ryan finally threw his Pokéball and… [abrupt silence] [Pokémon GO menu theme plays] I’m not even joking. Look what popped up. “Our servers are humbled by your incredible response. We are working to resolve this issue. Please try again soon!” [Sarcastic] I love this game!