Hello do you perhaps have some Brain Cells™ to spare? Please please I need I- Hello do you perhaps have some Brain Cells™ to spare? Please please I need I- Fun drinking game: take a shot every time he says “Woah Vicky” I need brain cells someone help meeee *laughs dryly* Don’t know what I’m talking about, I have watched way too many Wicki Woah videos, and if you don’t know who she is I’m giving you one chance right now I’m hundred-*gibberish* I’m quite serious. RUN In case you’re still here remember Danielle BreHgoli “that’s not my name you pronounced it wrong” “CaTcH mE OuT SidE HoW BoUT daT” Basically, when we first were al- were a bit haha that’s kind of…. funny Oh, no. What is wrong with humanity? Which, which dark corner or pit did she crawl out of? Well if you are the new kid on the block: Its this sweet, innocent girl. Woah Wicki. Well there’s one thing You need to know by Wicki Woah the main personal trait self acclaimed by her WAIT FOR IT Is ThAt ShE’s bLaCk (silence) Now she’s your teh- eh- typical savage Instagram teenager doing ju- just The crazy things. Who knows what she’s gonna do next? *acts like a mentally challenged child* This for Poppy JJ and Malu, fug y’all “Fuck ya’ll
FuCk YA’ll, oO” FuCk YA’ll, oO “OoOh” *generic beat* *generic beat* “Fug’ Bobby JJ” “Fug’ Mal Lou” (97475+ Grammy nominations) (97475+ Grammy nominations) “OoOh” *beat of the year* It’s pretty good stuff here guys Somewhere along the line Wicki realized that she is not just your ordinary citizen. She discovered finally a mission from God He split the heavens just for Wicki Woah, and said: “Wicki I have special plans for you” “I am not done with you yet”, and here’s what she came up with “Yes, my birthday is March 7th. But July-” “Yes, my birthday is March 7th. But July-” Are you sure about that? Is it really? That’s— I don’t know if people are sure about that. “-19th was the day I found out I was black.” “-19th was the day I found out I was black.” “Like this whole-” “My whole entire life, my mom kept tellin’ me ‘you’re white, you’re white,’ ” “I never believed her because I knew I was black. But July 19th” “I did some history,” “I went on ancestry.com,”
“And I found out I’m 25% black and this whole time I knew it. I knew I was a black girl.and found out I’m 25% black” “And I found out I’m 25% black and this whole time I knew it. I knew I was a black girl.” “And this whole time I knew it!
I knew I was a black girl.” “So- So I just consider that to be my birt’day because it’s just a very excitin’ holiday for me so I-” That’s right. She discovered what no one, literally no one else saw. You guys don’t understand. She. Is. 25%. She even posted her ancestry result online- says 44. She’s 44 percent African guys I’m havin’ Papi JJ’s babies, he’s the baby daddy I’m havin’ Papi JJ’s babies, he’s the baby daddy I just don’t know if ‘dey his because he a virgin I just don’t know if ‘dey his because he a virgin *pats head*
“But like they gon’ be real real cute (and) beautiful” “Chocolate babies running around- We having twins by the way. ” Chocolate babies running around- We having twins by the way. And like they gonna be beautiful because we both black “and like- but they gon’ be beautiful ’cause we both black” This discovery truly changed Vicki Woah’s life, making plans about her chocolate babies. *laughter* But Oh No NoOoO Of course there’s people, who always have to be hating I know, I know, it’s frustrating Getting criticism online. I don’t like it either okay I’m on I’m a Vicki Woah’s side. All the way. All the way. She posted the ancestry results guys. But of course- Ugh Haters! Makes me so angry. They’re racist haters. “I gotta tell ya’ll somm’n” I gotta tell ya’ll somm’n “Y’all keep try’na say, I’m not black, I’m white” Y’all keep try’na say I’m not black I’m white Ya’ll- Vicki, I’ve would never say that, I would absolut- lik- that’s beyond me, why people would say something like that, just- Cannot comprehend “Y’all is racist as fuck” “how you si-si-sit here and tell me what race I am.” “If I say I’m black, then I’m black” “I’ see- seen on ancestry.com. Ya-” I’ see- see on ancestry.com. Yeah, that’s right. That’s right and remember that one time, but you probably forgot about this That’s right. That’s right. And remember that one time- *mumbles* you probably forgot about this *Pfshdshh!* But remember that one time I was in the bridge in this video game But remember that one time I was in the bridge in this video game Hhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
hmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM??? hmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM [HMM ESCALATES] “Y’all, didn’t. Yeah my hair might be blonde and straight.” “Yeah, my hair might be” “Y’all ain’t never heard of a perm or a straightener? A strainer??” *meme review* “So you get it.” Don’t you use meme review clap, please, Vicki, alright? I don’t go there and steal your ethnicity Don’t come here and steal my memes, please. “And you go li’ ‘dis” “I’m black! end o’ story. get ‘dat out o’ my face. Ya’ll finna’ make me mad.” Yeah, don’t make her mad guys.
Please do not make Vicki WO MAD “Oh, No, NoOo, still not convinced.”, you say stupid haters always needs, doub-
double evidence Well she provides, okay “A’ ya’ll niggers out there keep sayin’ I ain’t black,I ain’t black” A’ ya’ll niggers out there keep sayin’ I ain’t black,I ain’t black, well I got proof fo’ ya’ll niggers because look “Well I got proof for y’all ni**as, because look” “Cuz look, this bitch Mariah Carey *shows dark screen* she white as fuck. I look blacker ‘dan ‘dis bitch.” “this bitch Mariah Carry, she white as fuck. I look blacker ‘dan ‘dis bitch.” Mmhm. Yes, that phone is actually extremely black. She makes a great point. Look at that photo of Mariah Carey She’s extremely white as you can tell she is way- As you can tell by these solid evidence that Vicki Whoa.. wit… Woah Vicki sorry, I- I apologize Whoa. It’s literally right there. The solid evidence that Woah Vicky has displayed to you right here. How can you just possibly dispute this? Stop hating, please, stop hating on Woah Vicki “Ya’ll talkin’ ’bout, I ain’t white ’cause my hair ‘dis my hair ‘dat” Ya’ll talkin’ ’bout, I ain’t white ’cause my hair ‘dis my hair ‘dat “Nigga’ go on ances’ry.com, you’ll see that I am black.” You see You see, ancestry is extremely solid evidence Just just one example, for example Elon Musk, from South Africa, as you can tell, he is also eXtReMeLy Bananas, he sent a car to space, that’s insane, am I right guys? Thumbs up this video now if you agree. This topic of ethnicity, of course Interesting, as it may be, it’s not what defines Woah Vicki. What defines her among other things? Many things for that matter Is her incredibly Beautiful, tear breaking, song- song- singing talent, is what I’m trying to say, Jesus Christ Y’all, I’m felling good today so, imma sing for ya’ll You might want to turn up your volume for this one Prepare your ears for American Idol finalist voice *singing loud and obnoxious* YOU MAKIN’ LOVE LIKE IT’S MAGIC OH YEAH CAUSE I SEEN NOBODY ‘CAUSE I SEE NOBODY, NOBODY BUT YOU YOU YOU YOU NOBODY BUT YOU YOU YOU YOU I’M NEV’AH CONFUSED I NEVA CONFUSED *Sound of a dying dog* HEYAYE I’M SO USED TO BEING USED I’M SO USED TO BEING USED SO I LOoOoVE WHEN YOU CALL UNEXPECTED SO I LOoOo’ WHEN YOU CALL UNEXPECTED WO WA, ‘CAUSE I HATE WHEN YA CALL WOAHWOAH CAUSE I HATE WHEN YOU CALL- uh that’s really good, that’s really good Wow, it’s like some weird gucci gang-abortion-hybrid that’s just somehow made it BUT I DON’T WANT NOTHIN’ AT ALL NEED- IF IT AIN’T YOU BABY *This is why there was a gosh darn disclaimer* IF I AIN’T GOT YOUU BABYY [inaudible]
DIAMOND RINGS [inaudible] WHATEVER- It’s incredible I can almost tell what language she sings in, it just breaks all boundaries that we are normally used to Inspiring stuff If you think that’s it is inspiring. We haven’t even gotten started with her inspirational quotes She may have been blessed by God by this epiphany, of who she is But she also blesses us with her wisdom, of course. “Hey, look. I just wanna tell ya dat-” Tell me. “First o’ all, I love you, and you c’n do anythang you put yo’ mind to” (clap clap) yes.
“See wa’ I’m sayin’, like-” “anything.”
anything. “Don’t let people sit der ‘n’ doubt you sayin’ you can’t do it and then– Y’know what I’m sayin'” Don’t let people sit der’ n’ doubt you say you can’t do it. And then, you know wa’ I’m say it might even be your friend “It might even be your friends” “That’s saying that bro, but like you just gotta do yo’own thing you know wa’ I’m saying stay blessed up, stay prayed up” Thank you! Ignore the haters, like EEEE. You can’t care about what people think, bro, like “Ignore the haters.” Yes! “Like, you- y-y-y-y-you can’t care what people think, bro, like-” Yeah, I must say this camera angle is great by the way, I’m loving it and when people say your face is lopsided It’s not true. Don’t listen to the haters “Second of all like- like- you think if I cared, I’d still be- I’d still- You think I’d be who I am today?” “No, I wouldn’t.” can we quote that last bit? it was just like true poetry. Woah Vicki is just so talented and so Incredible that sometimes when she speaks it’s almost like she’s talking Through another beam. Through a higher power, and if you don’t understand. It’s because you don’t have that intellect “Now I’m finna keep shit 100 with yall, I don’t know about ya’ll”
“but I have gotten my ass beat befo, and ain’t nothin wrong with gettin yo ass beat, know what I’m sayin?” “but I have gotten my ass beat befo, and ain’t nothin wrong with gettin yo ass beat, know what I’m sayin?” “but I had gotten my ass beat before” “And ain’t nothing wrong with gettin your ass beat you know what I’m sayin” “As long as you don’t you go like a bitch about it like yeah. Yeah, she beat my ass but look” “At the end I was like bitch you beat my ass, but you still a bitch and that’s just” “honey, like, you beatin’ my ass ain’t gonna stop me from talkin’ shit cause” “you beat my ass that’s not gonna stop me from being sorry” “cause bitch, I ain’t scared just because you beat my ass bitch? I don’t give a fuck, you feel me?” “Like-” For those are you plebeian beings that don’t understand what Woah Vicki is saying here, Sive is now going to translate Part of this video so you can understand and follow the great word along. Of this video so you can understand and follow the great word along Im going to keep things simple for you guys. I don’t know about y’all but “I’m finna keep shit 100 wit y’all, I don’t know bout y’all, but I have gotten my ass beat befo, ” I have gotten my ass beaten before. Yes. I Poor Sive “I don’t even know!” “Oh hey i didn’t see you there” “Guess what I’m is for Halloween” “Yeah, that’s right, since some of y’all white folks” “Out here wanna be racist and shit, and paint your faces black for Halloween guess what. Mmhm that’s right” “hold on-” Mm-hmm that’s right. She’s going as a white girl for Halloween Pushing boundaries on political topics social issues Truly groundbreaking stuff.
My take on culture ‘apportion’ “Um, I just wanna- ’cause I’ve been getting a lot of comments talking about culture appropriation” “But I just want to give you all my take on it coming from a black girl, and-” I don’t know why I thought she might say something else, I don’t- Some people out here saying that Woah Vicki isn’t gangsta. She’s not thug Excuse me, then how come she has the mark of the intellect ummmmmmmmmmmmm “Gang Shit Bitch. Gang Shit” She’s also a master swimmer Now of Course™ as angry as this makes me Ricegum™ RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *my ears are dead by this point…send help* Marzia? Stupid Ricegum™, always criticizing these Instagram children, just had to go and hate on my girl. Whack it Wow RG: “WHAT IS THIS?!” *I don’t feel pain anymore* “Ricegum™, you need to keep my name out your mouth” “You use little kids for clout, you diss them, right, bro is that all you can do, you fuckin” “How old are you? and you- and you diss a little kid, like-” “You don’t even write yow own songs, what you got ghost writers?” “You should tell em to do a better job cuz your raps still suck.” “Wha-wha-wha-wha-why am I even wasting my time right now.” “Why am I wasting my time I better make a diss on you you just tryin my life” That’s right! Woah Vicki did a diss track and it Absolutely killed it It absolutely destroyed Ricegum’s™ career worse than iDubbbz™ And here’s the aftermath. “I have an announcement to make so if anyone took offense unto my Ricegum™ diss track” “Please don’t take offense cuz it’s only to Ricegum™ because he was being racist towards me.” “And it’s only towards him and like actually” “Just to let y’all know like when I was younger I used to think I was Asian.” Oh my god. Ju- *We all lost something, didn’t we poods?* Just take a DNA test oooooh But what Woah Vicki does best out of these all things is spread positivity “-ate negative ass bitches! “Why you bitches so negative!” “Stop being so negative! be happy bitch!” I feel this positive energy just being blasted by thank you wOeO wEeKe “You woke up this mornin’! You up! You blessed!” “God is blessing you.” “You are blessed bitch, maybe if you wasn’t so busy hanging out shit being so goddamn negative all the time” YES! “You could be livin’ like this too, I can see da whole city of LA, bitch” “Maybe if you- if you wanted to-” What is that like that’s not a LA? What are you talking about “Stop hatin’! Stop! Stop that shit now!” “I love everybody! I love everybody! I love you!” *kisses* F: It’s enough F:that’s enough, thank you “Stop hatin’! How y’all mothafuckers hatin F: thanks for leaving a like on the video *poods goes back into hiding* “If you wasn’t so busy hatin’, you could go get some money get that shit out so what that should have done for you” what is she saying? God? Succeed!!11!!!1!1!1! *poods should make closets next… so that we can hide in ’em after videos like these* This is not english Go get some money!!!11!11!!!!1!1!! I’m out, bye