House Democrats announced that they will conduct
a formal impeachment inquiry into President Trump,
and many Americans don’t know exactly
what that means. Luckily, I saw
a commercial last night that explains
the impeachment process. Take a look. -[ Gasps ]
-Oh! -I love our little
get-togethers. -Well, you know what
I don’t love? -What? -Not understanding everything that’s going on
with our country. -Tell me about it. -Like, for example, what exactly
is an impeachment inquiry? Is it different
from impeachment? -Peach-mint is my
favorite kind of Martini. [ Laughter ] -Mine, too. But an impeachment inquiry
is when Congress conducts an investigation to see
if there’s enough evidence of wrongdoing to warrant drawing
up articles of impeachment, the first step
in impeaching a president. -Well, that clears
everything up. Peach-mint-tini, anyone? -No, it doesn’t. Tell me more. -Well, some representatives
in Congress think impeachment of the
current president is justified because he’s committed
a high crime or misdemeanor, even if he’s not a violation
of a criminal statute. -Oh, I love statues. My favorite is Michelangelo’s
“The David.” Huge wiener. -While other members of Congress
think the Constitution doesn’t legally define
a high crime. -High crime — is that like
when you smoke reefer and vandalize a daycare? Guilty. -No.
-So, what happens now? -It’s simple. Six House committees will
investigate the allegations against the president
and present their findings to the Judiciary Committee. -Then he’s out.
-No. Then, if there’s enough
evidence, the House will vote. -Then he’s out?
-No. Then the president is impeached. -Then he’s out.
-No. Then it moves to the Senate.
-Then he’s out? -No.
Then the Senate holds a trial. -Then he’s out?
-But… -Ugh! -…as long as the
Senate Majority Leader doesn’t decide to dismiss
the whole thing. Otherwise, he’s not out.
-How do we ever get anyone out? -Well, she’s out.
-Good. So, how does the Senate
trial work? -Well, at the trial, the president’s lawyers
will defend him. The members of the Senate
will act as a jury, and the whole thing’s presided
over by a Supreme Court Justice. -Like Judge Judy. -She’s not a
Supreme Court Justice. -Oh, no. Did she die?
-I don’t know. How long does this whole
dumb process take? -Well, the last one took
about 10 months. -Just like my pregnancy. Little Albert did not want
to come out. -Can you blame him? Then, after that, will
the president be removed from office? -The president is only
removed from office if 2/3 of the members present
vote to convict. -I’m not allowed to vote. Because of all
the daycare vandalism. -Shut up! Will the president be
impeached or not? -I don’t know. -Well, I guess it all
comes down to one thing. Judge Judy.
-Congress. Oh, I hate you. -Cheers. -Watch “The Bachelor.” It’s better than trying to
understand this [bleep]