Men | ContraPoints


(eerie music) – Hi boys, it’s me again,
just your average girl. Look I may be a biological female, but I do hope that just for this video, we’re able to converse as men. I want you to think back to 2016 which I know in internet years is like halfway between now
and the decline of Rome. Do you like history, boys? How did Rome fall again? Was it the gays? Tell me all about it. Back in 2016 the big internet culture war was between feminists on one side and men’s rights activists on the other. What ever happened to that? These days it’s as dead a
meme as I don’t know, Harambe. I did want to do the fedora though. Every YouTuber who’s ever covered the men’s rights movement
has done the fedora and I wanted to put my
own little twist on it. My wardrobe notes for this
video say MRA femme fatale and fedora but make it fashion. School shooter realness. I feel like I’m also serving a little red-pilled Carmen Sandiego? In this video I wanna
ask, in all seriousness, what are we going to do about men? Because, no offense, but, as a group, you guys kind of seem like
you’re not doing okay. Could a group of people who are purchasing uncucked alpha yogurt
possibly be subsisting in a state of psychological balance? Fellas, are regular bowel movements gay? I guess yeah, kind of. You don’t see a whole lot of psyllium husk in heterosexual medicine cabinets. I’m losing my target audience here. Listen my dudes, let’s just say I’m kinda worried about you guys. And I’m not saying I’m any better. To be clear, I’m not okay either. There’s like 15 jars of urine
in my refrigerator right now. Yeah, that’s right. Women pee too, okay? Get over it. I’m so sorry if this
offends your male notions of feminine delicacy, but I
for one will not be shamed by your patriarchal bullshit. [dramatic music] You boys, you’re very
rational, aren’t you? I suppose I was too. I admit that these days rationality, it’s something I struggle with, both as a biological female
and as a Pisces moon. But when I decided I wanted to make a video for men,
ContraPoints For Him I started brushing up on
my reasoning skills because I wanna be so f*cking rational for you. So to prepare for this video I read Newton’s Principia Mathematica, Wittgenstein’s Tractatus
Logico-Philosophicus, and of course the philosophical classic, The Rational Male by Rollo Caliente. So my mind is
well-lubricated and I’m ready for what I have no doubt will be a penetrating intellectual interchange. Look, I wanna play by your rules, okay? So there will be no
emotions in this video. I will present my arguments
in strict logical form, relying only on facts, reason, evidence, and deductive proof. (Grindr notification) (typing) (Grindr notification) (Grindr notification) (typing) (Grindr notification) Actually, you know what? F*ck that. Let’s listen to house
music and do sex drugs! (upbeat music) I’m pandering to the male gaze! Oh, and the male straights. God I love attention! Hey gorg. Hey gorg. Hey gorg. Okay, I’m ready. Let’s crack open a cold one boys. My hands are too pretty to open the can. I need a man to do it for me. Help. Fuck it. (cork pops) Okay, that’s super great. Hey gorg. Hey gorg. If there are any women
still watching this video, I’m really sorry about all this. Unless you’re into that sort of thing, in which case how very dare. I’m a good Presbyterian. And by Presbyterian I do mean pansexual. Hey, how are you? Look the video’s about men so I’m trying to be attractive to men. Am I doing this right? Is this what men like? Trap straps! It is a risky look for a girl like me. When you do a lingerie look you know you’re gonna wind up somewhere on the Frank-N-Furter/Violet
Chachki/Dita von Teese spectrum, oh but you don’t know where exactly. And that is a dangerous game ladies. I have to say though I actually am feeling pretty f*cking empowered right, but um that could be because of the drugs. Look, gentlemen, let’s be rational. No more fooling around, okay? Part one, oh wait. Rational. Axiom one, America’s Next Top Victim I think there is some truth to the idea that we live in a victimhood culture. And I’m not just talking about campus SJWs with their microaggressions. No bitch, this goes
all the way to the top. We have white people whining
about reverse racism. We have the literal 1% complaining about anti-rich prejudice. That must be super f*cking hard for you. We have the heterosexual agenda organizing straight pride parades. You know, flaunting their sexuality in the faces of children who
are trying raise a family and protesting in the street
like a bunch of (beep). And so of course because
there was women’s rights there has to be men’s rights too. I’ve been hearing about men’s rights for my whole adult life, and I’ve always been very skeptical. Because in my experience, online men’s rights activism in practice always looks like this. Women try to do a good thing
to solve a real problem and then a man shows up to
say well what about men? Men also get harassed. Why aren’t you talking about men? And is this man actually
involved in activism to stop harassment against men? Of course he’s fucking not. He doesn’t give a shit. He’s a troll. His contribution to the
conversation begins and ends with what about men? What about them, honey? For this video I decided to actually do some research for once, and the first thing I did was
read the foundational text of the modern men’s rights movement, which is The Myth of Male
Power by Warren Farrell. Actually I listened to the audiobook ’cause let’s be honest, reading is hard. But as I was listening, I admit
I thought it made more sense than I was expecting it to. Basically Farrell says
that second-wave feminists rightly fought against the
traditional gender role that confined women to domestic servitude. But, he argues that the feminist idea that men have all the power in society is actually an illusion because the traditional
gender role for men is just as oppressive. He introduces the idea
of male disposability, basically the idea that
society values female lives more than male lives, which
are seen as expendable in the service of protecting and providing for women and children. And he points to statistics showing that men make up the majority
of military casualties, workplace fatalities, murder
victims, suicides, and so on. So we’re supposed to conclude that even though at
first it looks like men have more power than women, in fact the queens have a
certain kind of privilege in being protected and provided for by the expendable male worker bees. And I guess that kinda makes sense. I feel like I can at least
empathize with the point of view. What I’m saying is, I took the red pill. And I rubbed it on my cliiiiiiit. But some initial objections come to mind. Like, haven’t men been almost all of the kings, presidents,
and CEOs for millennia? Didn’t men make up all these
rules in the first place? I don’t know, boys. Still seems kinda patriarchal to me. But maybe you’ll say that it’s
only at the top of society that men have more power than women. Maybe the average man is also oppressed by this system that
feminists call patriarchy. If that’s what you’re saying I think I basically agree with that. See, what you have to understand about me is I am such a f*cking Libra. Whenever there’s a conflict
my gut reaction is to be like well, maybe everybody’s right. And maybe there’s good
points on both sides and we should all just
listen to each other and rub each others cliiiiiiits. But no, my Scorpio-rising
persona will not allow that. Oh, there will be a champion, there will be blood. So, judges, how do we decide which gender is America’s next top victim? I mean it’s not like you
can just change genders and see how the other half lives. Or can you? (dramatic music) Proposition two, Diary of an Ex-Man. Dear diary, with every
false smile I conceal that on the inside I’m
drowning in darkness! Mom! Get out of my room. You’re ruining my life! Look I’ve never, ever talked
about this on my channel before so this is like a super f*cking
vulnerable moment for me, but I was born a boy. Well, was I ever really a boy? It’s hard to say. Dear diary, growing up I always knew that I was different from other
kids, especially other boys. And it took me so long to
pinpoint what it was, but there was this moment. I must have been what
seven, eight years old? And I was playing in my
parents’ room all by myself, and I saw this pair of my
mom’s shoes lying on the floor and I don’t know what it was. It was like this magnetism
that drew me to them, and I put my little feet in them and walked in front of the mirror and I didn’t really have the words yet to describe how I felt, but basically in that moment I sensed that God had made a mistake and I was destined to be, to be a crossdresser. That is super f*cking coconuts. Anyway then in my 20s my
life completely fell apart and I became a woman. Hey, how are you? I became one of the dolls. My plastic surgeon is an artist. Look, boys, the point I’m
trying to make here is I used to live your lifestyle. I know what people like you get up to and I think it’s disgusting. I gotta say though, since I transitioned, my life has been super f*cking great. Like way better. Now of course a lot of that is not because women
have it better than men, but because, hey gorg, I
am literally transgendered! So before I transitioned
I was dying inside. You know, I was in the wrong body. And now (sighs) it’s like
I finally have the body I was meant to die inside of! But it’s not just that. I do think that, in some ways, since I started presenting as a woman, people actually do treat me better. I mean, they take my
opinions less seriously sure, but that’s probably for the best. Now before using my personal experience as any kind of evidence, I guess I should say a couple caveats. Caveat one is that most
pre-transition trans women are not like other boys and
most of us were not living the business-class male
experience by any means. You know, it’s a lot
of drunk melancholics, tormented sissies,
secretive transvestites, poets, you know, that sort of thing. Caveat two is that my trans experience is not the trans experience, and I do have a lot of other privileges that made things go super
f*cking well for me. Hey, how are you? Don’t you just love it when
someone checks their privilege in a way that’s actually just bragging? You know it’s super important for me to acknowledge that
I’ve been so successful and I’ve come so far in part because I’m white
and I’m skinny and I’m young and I’m blonde and I’m rich and I pass and I’m educated and I’m popular and my plastic surgeon is an artist and my boyfriend is really hot and rich and I come from a pure Aryan bloodline. And part of what makes me so enlightened and so compassionate is that I’m able to
recognize these privileges that I have that just
might not be available to people who are less fortunate. From the bottom of my motherf*cking and my fatherf*cking heart that must be super f*cking hard for you. I can’t even imagine. What I was saying is there are ways that people treat me better now that I’m presenting as a woman. You know, people smile at me more. I feel more taken care of. Men do things for me! Now a lot of women don’t like
men doing things for them. You know, holding doors,
helping with luggage because they feel that it’s
infantalizing or condescending. But not me. I love it, both because I love attention and because I am a recumbent queen who’s too much of a delicate
flower to lift a finger. I do this thing on airplanes
where when it’s time for me to put my carry-on luggage
in the overhead bin, I pretend that my bag is
too heavy for me to lift, and then some man will usually
get up and do it for me, even though I’m taller than most men. It makes me happy! Another good thing about becoming a woman is I integrated more into
female social groups, and I found that they provide
a kind of communal support and overt affection that male social groups
generally just don’t. I find the female social
style suits me better than the male one, which
tends to be more atomized, more individualist, where
affection is always concealed behind this semi-jokey
front of competition. Like think about the way
boys talk to each other when they’re playing video games. A third improvement for
me has to do with the way men and women are treated
differently in public space. When you present female in public you’re more likely to be
treated as a spectacle to be commented upon. People, usually men, will just blurt out their opinions about you, sometimes complimentary,
sometimes insulting, sometimes just f*cking weird. Whereas when you present male in public you’re more likely to be treated either as invisible or as dangerous. Now feminists have traditionally interpreted these differences as men asserting dominance
over women in public space, and they’ve criticized catcalling as being objectifying,
degrading, and misogynistic. And it certainly can
be all of those things. But there’s different kinds of catcalling, and I have different feelings about them. If I’m walking with another woman and a man says, “Ladies,
you look beautiful tonight,” I don’t know, I like that. I think that’s nice. It makes me feel seen. It makes me feel admired. It boosts my confidence. Whereas if I’m walking alone and a drunk starts following
me down the street singing, “Have you seen Polythene Pam? “She’s so good looking,
but she looks like a man!” That I am less enthusiastic about. I mean not that that’s ever happened. I’m completely f*cking unclockable. Hey, how are you? ♪ No one knows what it’s like ♪ ♪ To be a sad tran ♪ I definitely get where
feminists are coming from because street harassment sucks. I’m a lot more afraid
walking alone at night than I used to be, and
there’s a lot more places I just won’t go by myself. But on the other hand, I do now enjoy being able to
walk down the street at night without other people acting afraid of me. I think a lot of feminists
have failed to imagine the ways that being treated as
invisible or dangerous can also kind of suck. In my video on incels I talked about male
invisibility on dating apps and how getting no attention at all can actually be emotionally worse than getting a lot of sh*tty attention. And when it comes to being
treated as dangerous, when I was living as a man sometimes if I was walking at night, a woman on the same block as me would change sides of the street. And I totally get why. Men do scary shit sometimes,
and it’s better to be safe. But it still stung a little bit to be treated as dangerous by default. I think it can actually be harmful, which becomes clearer if we
add race into the equation. There’s ways that white women’s fear can actually be dangerous
in particular to black men. I had an experience with this recently when I was filming my
video “The Apocalypse” and I’d rented a room in a hotel casino. Around midnight I was
carrying some camera equipment up to my room, and I got into the elevator with a group of people
from the casino floor. A couple floors up, everyone
got out of the elevator except for me and a single black man. Well, I mean he was alone, but I don’t know if he was single. That’s not part of the story. And as soon as the door closed he started literally whistling
Row, Row, Row Your Boat, the official melody of
performative innocence. And I realized oh sh*t,
he’s afraid that I’m afraid. And I found that just excruciating. I was like oh God. How do other white women
behave in elevators? Do they like, clutch their purses? (groans) That’s so f*cking embarrassing. Nothing like that had ever happened to me when I was living as a man. It’s not a thing between
black men and white men. It’s a thing between
black men and white women. And so that dynamic was there not just because I’m white and he’s black, but because I’m a woman and he’s a man. And I thought of that incident again when I was listening to
The Myth of Male Power and Farrell says, “Men’s greatest weakness “is their facade of strength, “and women’s greatest strength “is their facade of weakness.” I think there is some truth to the idea that women’s perceived vulnerability can make them powerful, and men’s perceived power
can make them vulnerable. Now I hope you’re taking all
of this with a grain of salt because these are just some
little observations I’ve made based on a handful of anecdotes. And as rational males it’s important that we consider the facts, the stats, and the figures. Did you know that 46% of men are at least 2.8 times
different than 73% of women? Look it up. I haven’t. I guess my super f*cking Libra opinion is that there’s upsides and downsides to male and female experience. I don’t actually think there’s
a single definite answer to the vague and useless question which gender has it worse? I consider myself a feminist because I support reproductive rights and I oppose workplace misogyny and I generally agree
with a lot of the activism that happens under the
heading of feminism. But I also think a lot of men are just having a super f*cking
difficult time right now and that must be super
f*cking hard for them. Hey, how are you? And I don’t think feminists
have an obligation to care about male angst,
but I care about you boys. God I’m such a cool girl. ️ I think the entire mid-Atlantic region is about to freeze over. No, I’m just a super f*cking
empathetic Pisces moon, and I really try to understand other people’s pain because I just find it really, really funny. I’m also really, really sobering up here. The drugs have worn off, and I am suddenly feeling very naked. Like it’s just now occurring to me that this is a highly inappropriate outfit for this occasion. So, I’m gonna go put on a robe, and I’ll meet you back
for the next section. Postulate three, The Man Question. (upbeat music) Hi boys, et cetera, et cetera. Hey, how are you? For the last three years on this channel I have been your Virgil,
leading you through gender hell. Pick-up artists, gender dysphoria, incels, radical feminists, non-binary genders, men’s rights activists. It seems like everybody’s
having gender trouble. So what do we make of that? Well gorg, a very, very
rational male philosopher named Hegel once said that the unfolding of history is a basically rational process, gorg. That means that at any time in history, society is based on
certain principles, like all men are created equal as long as they’re super
f*cking white and rich. And there’s always contradictions
within those principles, which creates tension and
eventually leads to a rupture, like a revolution, where society has to be reorganized according
to new principles. At least, I think he was
saying something like that. It’s pretty hard to make anything out through the fog of his unreadable, hyper-abstract man jabbering. God, I can’t stand that shit or any of the other music-hating volcels of the male philosophical tradition. My point is I think our
society has reached a place where gender as we know it
just isn’t working anymore. Now no one seems to agree
why it isn’t working or how to fix it, but we do all agree that it’s broken. We have mainstream
feminists saying we need to continue advancing the rights of women. We have conservatives saying we need restore the
gender roles of the 1950s. We have an increasing number of people not identifying as either men or women. We have TERFs who think
that the transgenders are the single greatest
threat to civilization. Hey, how are you? And we have men’s rights
activists saying we need a male equivalent to feminism to liberate men from their
oppressive gender role. Now I wanna focus on that last one because in principle I agree. I’ve spent a lot of the last three years covering the manosphere. I know, such a feminine topic. Love that for me. And from all the time I’ve tortured myself wading through these
communities of incels, pick-up artists, men’s
rights slacktivists, intellectual dark web fanboys, and alt-right racists, I’ve noticed that they all have one thing in common, which is that they all recruit from the same massive
pool of sad young men. We all know the archetype. He has trouble relating to women. He has no strong friendship group. He’s not excited about
any long-term goals, and he fills the void
with video games and porn. And just to clarify, I’m
not trying to take away your video games and porn. I’m not telling what
to do with your penis. You can rub one out to
this video for all I care. Just don’t pull a Gamergate on me, okay? (sighs) I live in fear. Look, I like to believe that until the red-pillers
inject their poison, most of these boys are not bad people. I think this all originates in a genuine crisis of male identity. And I think it’s happened in something like the way men’s rights
activists describe. The sacrificial role of men as warriors is no longer widely
glorified or necessary. The traditional
protector/provider role of men is being replaced by a more equal and undefined gender dynamic. And college professors and
activists are telling men that most of our culture’s
aspirational representations of manhood are toxic and bad. But without an attractive
replacement vision of aspirational manhood, average young men can only
imagine their future as what? The beta. The cuck. The nu male. And in a post-LeftTube internet, we’re so used to laughing
at this vocabulary, and to be fair it is very funny, but we forget, especially us grills, that for a lot of men
these words actually do tap into a deep, existential angst. And a lot of leftists go well how can men be so
angsty, especially white men? They’re so privileged. But existential angst is
often a disease of privilege. If you’re actually being
oppressed you have a struggle. You have something to fight for, and therefore a purpose. But for a lot men their lack of purpose puts them in search of a struggle. And that, along with the loneliness and the lack of a positive identity is what makes men
vulnerable to recruitment by the manosphere groups
and by the alt-right. And even worse, it seems
to be a motivating factor for the small but growing
number of young men who decide to pick up a gun and open fire in a shopping center. There were two mass
shootings during the weekend I was writing this video,
resulting in 31 deaths. Both shooters were young white men, and one of them posted about the shooting on an alt-right image board. Now I don’t pretend to fully understand the motives of mass shooters, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that basically all of them are men. One possible interpretation
of the mass shooting epidemic is that these killers
are trying to resurrect some horrible parody of
ancient masculine glory and therefore to be seen
and recognized as men by unleashing Homeric
violence in a f*cking Walmart. And of course there’s also the racism of the alt-right killers and the wounded sexual
entitlement of the incel killers. But that racism and that
sexual entitlement are learned, and men in the throes
of a masculinity crisis are much more receptive to learning it. So you can try to take down their forums and ban their accounts and
deplatform their events, but as long as this male
identity crisis goes on, I don’t see any end to these problems. Theorem four, What Do? There’s this media narrative that has emerged around me
and around this channel. And by the way, the fact that there’s any kind media
narrative about this channel is super f*cking coconuts. Because let’s be real gorg, I just wanted to pour milk on my face and talk about the mouthfeel. But there’s this media narrative that my role in the discourse is de-radicalizing young alt-right men. And it’s true that if you read the leftist YouTube fan subreddits, I used to be alt-right posts are so common they’re considered cliché. And some of them cite me as an influence in changing their politics, which I love for them and I’m
super f*cking happy about it, but it’s also a lot of responsibility. They’re (Grindr notification) my boys. And I worry about (Grindr
notification) my boys. Because in reality it’s not like they go from far-right extremists
to complacent centrists. No. Most of them go far left. A lot of times they become
communists or anarchists. So I watch them go from far to my right to significantly to my left. It’s not really de-radicalizing
so much as re-radicalizing. And I think it’s
definitely an improvement, but I still worry it’s
not gonna be good enough. I worry about (Grindr
notification) my boys. Because I don’t think
that the left yet has a final solution to the man question. Oh no. That was worded poorly. You know, there’s kind of two options the left has for disillusioned men. The first is the Marxist
promise of economic revolution. We say, well, actually
yes you are oppressed. But you’re oppressed because
of your class, not your gender. So just join the revolution. It’s gonna be super f*cking crazy. We’re gonna overthrow the bourgeoisie, meow meow, smash no voting, and then
things will be better for you. Now, I think that has
a couple limitations. One is that I look at the far left and I see a bunch of people who spend all their
time accusing each other of abusing moderator privileges
in closed Facebook groups. And I’m concerned that might not succeed at ending capitalism. Meow meow Like definitely vote for Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren or whoever, but if you’re investing all of your hopes in a capital R Revolution, I worry that can become
like waiting for Godot or waiting for the rapture. So we do need political change, but I feel like I’m failing (Grindr notification) my boys if I’m somehow giving them the idea that revolution is their only hope. Cause here’s the other thing. Even if we did succeed
at ending capitalism, there would still be gender, and (Grindr notification) my
boys would still need some model of what it is to lead
a good life as a man. Now the other option the left
has for disillusioned men is the feminist tranquilizer. We say look, toxic
masculinity is the reason you don’t have room to
express your feelings, and it’s the reason you
feel lonely and inadequate. So, while feminism tells
women you hate your body and you’re constantly doubting yourself because society did this
to you and needs to change, we kinda just tell men
you’re lonely and suicidal because you’re toxic. Stop it. We tell them that they’re broken without really telling
them how to fix themselves. I think what men need is a
new, positive ideal of manhood, which I don’t think is something that women cannot create for
men, even if they wanted to. And honestly the best
way for that to happen may actually be some
kind of men’s movement. But on the left the whole
idea of a men’s movement is basically taboo because
the men’s movement we all know is basically just a backlash to feminism, and at worst, it’s just
straight-up misogyny. And look boys, I understand
that being lectured about manspreading for most of 2015 was super fucking hard for you and you’re still mad about it, but posting endless outrage p*rn about false r*pe accusations
and paternity fraud isn’t actually gonna make
life any better for you. Because yes, those things are
horrible when they happen, but they’re not systemic
issues that affect most men. I think what would actually
improve life for most men is a positive ideal of
21st century manhood, but that’s not something I can give to you because in case you hadn’t noticed I’m literally a fu*cking woman. I can’t mom you through this one boys. You’re on your own. You have to help each other. So find each other in
the comments section. Meet up on Reddit. Make friends. Clean your room. Leave the house. F*ck each other. I don’t know. It’s worth a try. And failing that, you could always throw in
the towel and become a woman. Worked for me! (upbeat music) – I’m just trying to
give like m’lady energy. – Yeah, it is. It is English. It’s very John Maclean. Very Quentin Crisp, very aristocrat. I’m super f*cking naked right now. That’s crazy. That’s super f*cking crazy. According to traditional gender roles, men are useful for their labor and women are useful for their wombs. Well, I’m a woman without a
womb so I guess I’m useless. But I’m beautifully useless. Ah! I’m a work of art! The problem with our society is we’ve turned men into women. It’s disgusting. As an ally to men, it’s not my place to speak for them or speak over them, but I just want to use my platform to uplift some male voices who might not have as
many subscribers as me. I’m not hypergamous. I don’t need a rich husband. If I may quote Cher, I don’t need a rich man. I am a rich man. – It’s not even much of an insult being called a delusional man. Many great books have been
written by delusional men. So bad. I’m bad. I’m really bad. Okay.

100 thoughts on “Men | ContraPoints

  1. If there are any straight men in the Washington/Baltimore area that would like to have a get together to talk about developing a more robust style of manhood, I would be interesting in hosting and organizing such a meetup. I personally have a lot ideas on this and would love to find some men who have interest in this . . . and are not total hippie, drum-circle dwelling cucks. 😛

  2. Girl! First video I've watched on your channel. I did a search after some right-wing video I was watching mentioned you in passing. Not what I was expecting. I came here expecting a one sided leftist argument. Instead, I got an intelligent, insightful discussion. It completely blew my mind. I am a white male, 39 years old. Combat veteran.

    I come from a long line of war veterans, alcoholics, womanizing, aggressive, Type-A, dominant Men. Who are the ones influencing young men and convincing young men that what they believe in is under attack.

    I never really bought into that. I think, as you said, the paradigm of what a male should be is changing.

  3. Natalie , how does it feel to be eaten by your own? Perhaps now you will have more sympathy and understanding for the likes of Dave Ruben who went through something similar. In fact, i'd love to know whether or not this experience will perhaps 'de-radicalize' you closer to the center left?

  4. I'm not fluent in English, so I apologize for mistakes. I love your videos. Here in Brazil, the last two school shootings were also starred by "incels" who were later cheered on the dark web. 😞

  5. No body has an obligation to care about the plight of any other group. Motivated mutual self interest is how progress will be pushed forward. No person with reasoning skills actively pushes forwards agendas that are detrimental towards them. If we found a way to benefit everyone except the real oppressors the Oligarchy. It is the wealthy elite that keep people down, and spread resentment and confusion. Patriarchy is a dumb name to begin with. The wealthy elite have always pushed forward agendas to keep their power intact and it is that power that needs to be challenged. It isn't male oriented, it isn't female oriented, it is purely wealth and power oriented which is a gender-less construct.

  6. just wanted to say, don't let ppl make you think you are discriminating or denying their identity just for sharing your own personal experience
    we support you sis🧡🧡🧡

  7. OK. Do your best Pete Burns – dance and sing. I hope you don't end up like Pete. You should have Violet Chachki do your make up.

  8. In the 80s and 90s there were progressive men's movements. Don't know what happened to them. Im sure they could come back.

  9. Love you, Natalie. Please make more content. A lot of us are awaiting the return of our gorgeous goddess.

  10. Thank you for such a great video and not being afraid to empathize with "your boyz". Means a lot!

  11. It's not because I'm the father of a transgender female that I have found your channel fascinating. No, that's not it. I'm pretty sure it's something else.

  12. How many shitty jokes are you going to put in the first 10 mins of this it’s like taking a razor blades to my eyes ears and genitalia

  13. Some studies proved that men speak to exchange information women speak to exchange social cues

  14. So I’ve listened to your ideas if I’m not a protector, a provider, a revolutionary, or special in anyway how can you expect me to be happy. If millions of years of evolution are no longer applicable and I have rejected ideas made in the 40s to size political power. If I no longer live in a society that exempts me in fact it regrets me how in any way can I function in a middle ground within this land mine of a reality

  15. The idea that men are the victims of society is addressed in Atwood's Handmaid's Tale. I feel for this idea as a mother of teen boys, and grapple with how to empower them without having them overpower others.

  16. Contra I absolutely love your videos. Your brilliance cannot be understated. I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with a horde of toxic people on twitter. I hope you find the energy to continue because you are a light for many, many of us.

  17. "Im pandering to gay men, and straight men. God I love attention!"

    Don't worry doll. You've got the lesbians attention too

  18. I've only made it to 4.26 and have no fucking idea what this is about :/ …Black Pigeon brought me here.

  19. Seriously I don't know what the heck you guys are talking about?
    She does not have a six pack and her body looks very feminine, so I guess people have hallucinations here. She looks very beautiful stop being mean!

  20. Thank you for making this video. as a man, struggling with most of the issues you brought up, but not feeling that I fit in with the extremist (and quite frankly, toxic) ideologies being used by MRA's and incels, It felt so good to hear someone talk about these issues in a calm and… rational manner.
    I have been watching your videos for maybe a year, and while I don't always agree with your opinions (I think I fall slightly to the right of you on the political spectrum) I think your content is always top notch. Both from a production stand point, but also in your writing. I realise I am watching this video a little late, and that you got into some trouble, not specifically about this video, on twitter and had to shut it down. I sincerely wish you the best and I hope you won't let that affect the work you do on Youtube. We (i.e me) need people like you on the platform. rational, talented, driven and unique people.
    Sorry if any of this came off as blunt. I try my best to express myself as well as I can, but sometimes I do put my foot in my mouth.

  21. While I do love a lot of your work, I, like many other men, have been sexually victimized and do my best to fight against that in my research. I just wouldn't like to be grouped in with trolls when reminding others about male victimhood.

  22. Natalie, you are an incredible human being. Been following your channel for about a year and my admiration for you only grows more and more. Sending you much love from Brazil. Keep safe, keep fine and keep fancy! 💕

  23. Damn it i love your content. I do not fully understand theater so tbh sometimes it scares me but damn you're good at bringing your points across

  24. Beautiful, smart, and hilarious transgendered woman, who is very knowledgeable in philosophy, a perfect combination.

  25. 13:03 was it itemized or atomized? And if so what the heck does atomized mean in the new age hipster context? It's like the 4th time I've heard it today. At first I thought it mean partially enlightened- now it's like about to blow up like a nuke? Or does it mean disconnected like spray from a bottle?

  26. I wonder what that says about me… I'm a cis woman. And I've never been catcalled at. Random men don't make uninvited comments at me/about me. People don't treat me like a spectacle.

    But…. I also don't wear much if any make up. Don't dress up all that much. (Dressing for comfort rather than style). At the same time, I'm not dressing like a man either, just not in an especially girly way. I like keeping my hair long. And while I do keep it maintained, aside from brushing and washing everyday, I don't do much with it most of the time. Also, perfumes give me heaches, so that's a big fat no.

    But men still DO treat me really nicely, opening doors and offering to carry things for me or help me with something if it looks like I'm struggling. And they all seem to take my opinions as seriously as anyone else does, too.

    But that could be because I tend not to be very opinionated around anyone I'm not close to, so my guy friends of course listen to me and take me as seriously as any of my girl friends do.

    I also went to college for/work in a male dominated stem field. I've never felt attacked/harassed/mistreated ever for being a woman in this field. If anything, I've felted overwhelming encouragement from the mostly male staff/higher ups. Sometimes to the point where I almost feel a little pandered to.

    So…

    Yeah.

    I think all of this is why I've never been able to identify very strongly with the feminist movement.

    If I'm 100% honest, the only people who've ever tried to pressure me into certain norms/expectations based on my gender have been other women: my own mother and girls in my classes growing up. For as long as I can remember, the guys in my life just let me do my own thing.

  27. Support you completely in this recent brouhaha about pronouns.  In brief, it seems to me that not only were you expressing a personal feeling rather than suggesting a universal truth or policy, but that the language you used implicitly emphasized that distinction.

  28. How much would it cost to make a Chris-Chan video, would be interesting to see the Chris-Chan train wreck through the Contrapoint's lens.

  29. Feminism is and always has been female centric. Although feminism is ostensibly about gender equality, in practice most feminists are primarily concerned with injustices against women. The only male issue that feminists regularly combat is "toxic masculinity" and that's only because its an issue that also negatively impacts women. However when it comes to injustices that only men face, most feminists are either silent or they deny that the injustice even exists. For decades now, boys have been performing drastically worse than girls in school, and that trend continues on to college where the vast majority of dropouts are young men. Many prominent feminists are fighting rigorously for women to be more represented in STEM fields, but how many are advocating for these millions of boys? Very few, if any. How about the fact that in America, young men are still required to sign up for the military draft in order to qualify for federal student loans. This is a clear case of gender inequality, yet how many feminists are fighting against it? Virtually none..

    The feminist movement was started by women for women and, to this day, the emblem for Feminism remains the Venus symbol (i.e. the female symbol). You can't expect a group that is primarily comprised of one gender to give due consideration to those of the other; it's the same reason why a "patriarchy" is usually not an ideal system for women. If men want their voices heard and their problems addressed then feminism is a poor choice.

  30. I'm Australian and I remember one of my family friends (a white woman) went to visit America years ago and she was stopped by a black man. This was years ago so I can't recall why he stopped her but they spoke and towards the end of their conversation, he remarked that he appreciated that she looked at him in the eye and even smiled, to which she was very confused by. The fact that her body language was showing she was comfortable to talk to him was significant to him which just astounded her. I was a young teen at the time and I remember being confused too as to why she would be scared of him. Serious question, is this a uniquely American cultural issue or do other countries with a black minority population have the same issue?

  31. I feel like this is happening. Many men are taking their roles and using our privilege to bring on changes that benefit us all by bucking the regressive ideas coming from the right-wing. This might be some version of that 'disposable male' idea, but without the disposability part because I see it being recognized and appreciated by women who fight alongside us instead of expecting it to be the default and letting us do the fighting for them. We are less uncomfortable being led by women, and we can back their play even if it is them making the decisions. It's not happening quickly, but it's happening organically. Eventually, it will settle into whatever it becomes.

  32. Well, at least you're acknowledging that 'join us in breaking down the system by solving all of women's problems, and then your problems will also be solved… somehow' is not an actual solution that helps with the masculinity crisis. Not sure if offering the pink pill is necessarily an *improvement*, but it is *something*.

    I guess, when I imagine a potential actual solution, what I'd ask from feminists (or feminism as a whole, if we can pretend it has a collective consciousness) is to… not get in the way and deride any attempt at forming such a community and ideal to strive for? If you're going to deride men for asking for your labour in helping create one, you can't then also deride men for fumbling as they figure it out on their own. I mean, you *can*, obviously, but you'll just look like a bully.

    Point being, the solution men put together will probably not look like something feminism will recognise, at least not in the early stages, and, as the gender-related movement with the most institutional power in the circles these men searching for solution travel in, I'd argue feminism has a responsibility to wield that power responsibility, and not instantly crack down on male communities acting in ways feminists find unpleasant or even distasteful. Saying that men can't rely on your help and cracking down on them when they're 'doing it wrong' doesn't make you not their mom, it just makes you an abusive mom.

    Tl;dr bronies deserved better.

  33. Great video, while I do not agree with most of your politics and not all of your proposed conclusions, it was a great video and very insightful.

    There is one elephant in the room that was not addressed however. It is true men in general have no role and they have lost their traditional image to aspire to but if the traditional male rolemodel is 'outdated', why is it that men who perfectly fit the traditional role model are the ones who are not only the most succesful with women but also end up achieving a lot in life? If traditional male roles are 'toxic' and needs to be phased out, why does this formula as told as time still succeed and life continues to reward it?

    'Alpha' males still dominate the world and women and that doesnt look to change anytime soon. If anything, society has become more polarised between then haves and have nots in general, and the haves are always a minority. It seems to me that this is all based on biology and nature, and no matter what happens, traditional strong males will continue to dominate and flourish. The average man may have it way worse but perhaps for the top men, in general, it may have gotten better.

  34. It is agony, agony waiting for the next video. You hear, you gorgeous biological woman?

  35. So what I got from this video is that you're a deranged lunatic who cosplays Carmen Sandiego while playing with cold piss you've been hoarding in the same place you keep your food for fuck knows how long. And like most head cases you somehow think it's other people who have a problem. Next video you'll probably tell us how the reptilians from the CIA have bugged your "male tears" mug because you offended the patriarchy. Get help.

  36. I might be able to believe you're a biological female if you scraped off about 6 layers of makeup and stopped dressing like a pride parade. I've seen hand grenades that were more subtle than you.

  37. I’ve just come from GirlWritesWhat’s channel. I haven’t been there for a while. For those of you who retain a capacity for critical thinking and an appreciation for wit and argument, you may wish to review her response to Nat. And Nat, if you retain an interest in appealing to the above audience, you may wish to consider a measured and fact based response video. Cos as far as I can ascertain it’s 1-0 to Ms Straughan right now.

  38. the thinh is, the idea that men should be freed from opressing gender roles just like women IS an idea that is discussed and agreed in feminism; so i think the MRA movement is a thing mostly because it can be annoying and hard to see yourself as priviledged when in your daily reality you don't see that, and many men are just feeling attacked and get defensive. and i don't think i agree that there should be a model of the ideal men in the 21st century, since women don't have one, and don't seem to really need one as well. ilysm nat

  39. As for a good male role model, there's Dr. Uri Burstyn, of the "Helpful Vancouver Vet" channel, is a good start

  40. was totally on board with everything said except when fanboys of the intellectual dark web comment came up. Can you fathom a situation in which an individual has a solid friend group, doesn't struggle with women or porn, and doesn't play a lot of video games AND is a fan of the intellectual dark web? Perhaps they like it because it provides a perceived logical "counterpoint" to the many illogical opinions on the left right now. I'm not saying yours are illogical AT ALL (I thought most of them were logical), but just in the same way you think these videos are a counterpoint to the conservative viewpoints you deem illogical, perhaps the IDW provides counterpoints to the viewpoints on the left that conservatives deem illogical. To assume otherwise is to assume your opinions are abjectly true and theirs are abjectly false, or to assume people who disagree with your opinions have something or some things fundamentally wrong in their lives is the very definition of bigotry (not calling you a bigot). I think you really hit the nail on the head when you said it's not a competition of who has it worse because each gender has privileges not afforded by the other. Perhaps the crisis in masculinity has arisen because men keep getting told they're oppressive even though women enjoy all the same legal rights as men now, and also because feminism is allowed to exist but men's rights is bigoted. To men, that says, "my struggles are more important than yours and you should just shut up". And you did admit, rightly so I believe, that men have struggles too, different struggles than women but not necessarily easier struggles than women. They're both hard.

  41. Holy shit, Contrapoints got assraped in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ket6bmPBmJk

  42. 26:33 In the words uttered by a wise lady in bygone days of yore:

    ‘I feel like there’s a misogynistic strain in some feminism that resents femininity and wants women to be more like men. But I like women the way they are, goddamnit. We shouldn’t be trying to turn women into men what we should be doing is trying to turn men into women.
    Beautiful.
    Perfect.
    Angels.
    HAIRLESS.
    PURE.

  43. I actually think the negative reactions to this video is a good thing, for the simple fact that it means contra is encouraging growth through challenging society as a whole, and that's bound to always ruffle some feathers.

  44. I get one thing from this: @Contrapoints is an asshole.
    An unbelievable asshole.
    People take this person seriously?

  45. Person A – "Oh my god, 3 WOMEN just died in an apartment fire! This is proof that women are in danger of systemic violence from fire!"

    Person B – "Wasn't that the same apartment fire that also killed 7 MEN?"

    Person A – "Oh my god, why do you always have to make EVERYTHING about MEN! #whatabouttehmenz"

    Maybe if people like you didn't always leave men out of the equation in your effort to turn human issues that affect everybody into a gendered issue that solely affects women, then perhaps nobody would feel the need to bring up the other side of the equation to clean up your 1-sided mess.

  46. As a red meat eating, white male who has chosen to remain single for the past 10 years, everything internally and externally improved. Emotional independence is probably the best trait I acquired. I don't get lonely. I love my freedom. I have enough male and platonic female friends.

    Love? That's just a biochemical that comes and goes. No, I'm not bitter, just being factual. Guys really can do just fine without intimacy.

    Sex? Because I put myself as the highest priority I keep a body fat percentage around 15% and can just go to the local swing club and shag when I'm in the mood or shag with one of my playmates. No wife/children means more money for me. I never pay for dates and always get away with splitting. I could retire right now if I chose due to the money I accumulated and invested which is directly related to not pursuing women. I get asked out or get non-verbal cues/flirting and then approach if enticed.

    Sure, there is the social disease of labeling all men as rapists. I just pay no attention to women when out in public and if alone with a woman in an elevator, I make sure I'm as far away from her as possible and lean up against the opposite wall while looking at my phone. I never walk close to women on the street at night either. Problem solved. Oh, and avoid child playgrounds.

    False paternity? I got snipped in 2012 and easily refuted 2 false paternity claims. Being stuck paying 20 years of child support indeed is a systemic problem men face. I'll never give any woman a child.

    Lastly, not caring what anyone thinks is great for your self esteem.😎

  47. You are one of my favorite "commentary" channels. You are always so logical and well spoken.

  48. Too bad Karen Straughan blew this nonsense tf out.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ket6bmPBmJk&t=1133s

  49. Lmfao.. this was awesome.. I’m so sorry you’re going through all this but you did a great job at making it humorous.. love you!

  50. Interesting video but I was rolling my eyes so much like when you said "Since I started presenting as a woman, people actually do treat me better" with surprise in your voice. Who could have guessed OH EVERYONE? I'm just shocked over and over how little people understand each other and these dynamics no shit you were gonna be treated nicer walking around as an attractive women I can't find the words to express my befuddlement never mind there's the word right there.

  51. Just wanted to pop into this comments section and say I support you as a queer person myself. The whole "cancelling" attempt is outrage culture at its worst and I don't honestly get why people are coming after you for speaking to your experience. I don't follow you on Twitter cause that place is a cesspool of stupidity usually, but I hope you continue to make quality content here on YouTube.

  52. Since we’re on the topic of men, can we talk about circumcisions? I don’t think it’s too serious. As someone who was circumcised after I was born, I don’t remember feeling any “pain” that I might’ve felt during the procedure and I don’t experience any problems with my genitals now. Yes, I clean it but I don’t think I have to take any extra measures to make sure that it’s “all right”. I don’t need to worry about “dick cheese” and I don’t feel any remorse about being circumcised. However, on any video on the topic of circumcision, the comments are a bunch of uncut people shaming circumcisions along with men’s rights activist saying that “that baby did not consent to be circumcised, feminists are hypocrites” and I’m just there like how should I feel about this. Thoughts?

  53. Wow, time's have changed. I thought your channel sounded familiar….then it struck me. I used to watch you waaaay back in the day. You had another channel too at the time, and you talked about Kierkegaard and classical music. Fast forward…10 years?….and you've transitioned, changed a lot of people's lives for the better, and scare the alt-right. Just wanted to stop by, so many years later, and say my heart is with you in these hard times.

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