Aren’t you excited to play with Dirk? He’s the greatest The greatest You’re going to love it here Greatest city in the world We’re definitely going to the tournament this year I can’t wait to share the court with you and the legendary Ser Dirk. Would you like to see him? Is he…uh… you know…is he like, uh… His, uh, spirit is strong, but I am afraid there is not much time left. OK He’s down to 10 minutes a battle Oh my But come, you will make him very happy Ser Dirk, remember: You can fight for this house for as long as you like Danke, but I don’t have much time left… maybe only…six seasons or something Six?! That’s fine…that’s totally fine Is, uh, now a good time? Ser Kristaps is here to see— Oh yes, yes! Dirk, someone special wants to see you Hello, my Euro father You shaved your beard, Tyson -Oh, that’s not Tyson, Dirk. It’s Kristaps!
-It is not him Oh! Kristaps? You’re…you’re on House Mavericks? I am, yeah Lord Mark, this is…truly a wonderful gift Oh, it’s nothing Almost makes up for… the time I took a giant pay cut… OK to stay with House Mavs… OK, we don’t need to rehash the whole— and you used the gold on… Chandler Parsons. Alright, OK Not good OK, well, I will let you boys alone to talk about whatever European things you guys wanna talk about like wine and bread and cheese. I get it. All right. Later, dudes! Mark is actually… He’s a very cool guy Your grace, I want to learn everything you have to teach me Let me bask in the light of your wisdom I will tell you what is the most important Yes. Please. Loyalty Loyalty For 56 years, I have worn only House Mavericks colors, even as those colors went through a questionable rebrand. And though I showed my opponents no mercy, I made no enemies because I betrayed no house Tell me, why did you abandon your house? Your fanlings? Well…I was on House Knicks, and— Oh, oh—say no more OK, yikes, yikes. Never mind. OK, yikes, yikes. Never mind. Kristaps, do you then swear your loyalty to House Mavericks? Yes, I do Well then, in the name of Dirk Nowitzki of House Mavericks, I hereby declare you the next Dirk OK, wait. Hold on With all due respect, you said I was the next Dirk, like like a moon ago Oh…that’s right. OK, yeah. Kristaps, you will be the next Dirk, UNTIL Luka comes of age. Right…but I’m already the go-to knight, right? I’m scoring roughly 20 points a battle What if, uh, maybe both of you are the next Dirk? We’ll do double Dirks Yeah, you can be double Dirks Want to be triple Dirks? Could we do triple Dirks? Triple Dirks? Who is the other— I think I also told Maxi Kleber that he’s the next me Ser, our next battle starts in eight hours We need to start your stretches Oh, dank—thank you, J.J. I’ll be right there All right, boys Time to play some basketball! What the hell, Kuz? Oh, c’mon, probably would have been more off target if I left you alone. That arrow cost 200 gold Who pays 200 gold for— Ah, right Wait, weren’t you cutting ties with them? Yeah, but I got to get that arrow back It’s going to be a collector’s item Oh, you must come to my barbershop But I have a barber. He’s an eyebrow specialist Hey Lonzo, I’m not sure it’s safe to climb in ZO2 boots! If Lord Walton sees you, he’ll give Rondo ALL your minutes. Shhh! Shut up! I want nothing more than to be by your side Oh, think of the fast breaks I yearn to toss your lobs Think of the spacing! Would you let me play power forward? Yes, anything. Even though I’m clearly a center? Oh, whatever you want. Because together, we will bring back Showtime. Ugh, too bad Lord Demps would never trade me here He just hates House Lakers He’s always been jealous of big markets Let Rich handle Dell But you’d have to give up your entire young core for my rights. I would trade every single one of them for just a chance to play with you. Between you and me, they’re a bunch of fools and overhyped squires. Even the Ball boy? Pfft. Lonzo? Good riddance to him AND his oaf of a father And once he’s gone, we’ll bring in a real Lord Commander like Jason Kidd -Wait! Stop! Stop!
-or Mark Jack—son of a— Are you completely mad? He saw us. He saw us tampering. It’s all right. It’s all right. I know. What should we do with you? D-d-don’t trade me I’m really good except for shooting free throws and three-pointers and layups, but, uh…I was the No. 2 pick! He was the No. 2 pick The things I do for rings Ow, ow! -Ow, my ankle!
-My small Kevin Durant-like frame! Oh, my bones have shattered like sugar straws! Oh, come on, guys, shake it off! You’re fine! Just a little, uh…playoff push from the greatest knight in the Realm. Is someone going to help us up? Well, I suppose there’s always next year Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Sometimes, I like to pretend that I’m subscribed to Bleacher Report on Youtube. I get all the notifications, and I can show my support for Game of Zones. But alas, I’m back in Chai’Nos now, and I don’t get Youtube here. But I do wonder, will they ever do an episode about the Guangdong Southern Tigers? I certainly hope so