War of the Commercials – Nostalgia Critic


Just go! After these messages… After these messages… After these messages… After these messages… We’ll be right back! Yeah, this one launches the nostalgic feels. It’s the first commercial for Super Smash Bros. on Nintendo 64. Now it’s a commonplace idea to see your favorite lovable characters beat the shit out of each other, but back then, seeing these cuddly cuteballs skip was pretty shocking when it was followed by this. Good Lord! Suddenly, it’s Joaquin Phoenix from Gladiator looking over an enchanted bloodbath! Narrator: Something’s gone wrong in the happy-go-lucky world of Nintendo. NC: What I like is before you realize it’s all going this direction, it just looks like Mario snapped at Yoshi. What the hell did he do? Did he have a flashback to when he was a baby and Yoshi failed to protect him? (as Mario): Never forgive, asshole! (as DK): You’re a dickhead, Mario! (as Mario): You’re-a the dickhead! [Verbally (as well as physically) abusing each other] 10 points to whoever threw Pikachu twice, by the way. (as Pikachu): Pika, NOOOOOO! Why were they even skipping if they were just gonna fight? Is it like A Clockwork Orange where Mario knew he was gonna jack them up? (as Mario): I was calm on the outside but thinking all of the time. So now it was Yoshi the general saying what to do and what not to do. Well, I viddied what to do. Couldn’t you just get revenge by dropping off another cliff? We know the Yoshi species are like socks to you. Ultra violent as hell, but pretty funny, too, this commercial hits hard in the laughs. Narrator: Only on Nintendo 64. Alex: I was cured, alright. Boy 1: ​Where’s the ring? Girl 1: Here’s the ring. Ring Pop! NC: Hey, kids, wanna eat your bling? Seek help, and then seek a Ring Pop. Boy 2: Will you wear my ring? Girl 2: Ring Pop! Singers: ♪ It’s a lollipop without a stick. ♪ ♪ A ring of flavor you can lick! ♪ NC: It’s a catchy jingle and a typical setup, but it is one of those few commercials that have me constantly asking the question: What happened after? I know, I know, these are just playful scenarios to set up jokes, but what if they didn’t cut away? How would the rest of these scenes play out? Boy 2: Will you wear my ring? Girl 2: Ring Pop! NC: (as Girl 2): [Laughs] Seriously, where’s the ring, though? (as Boy 2): Well, I, uh…uh… (as Girl 2): You kept a box behind your back saying “Will you wear my ring?” You do not screw with a girl when it comes to this! (as Boy 2): W-well, I got some Tootsie Rolls, if you’re interested in any of those. (as Girl 2): Oh, look, I can turn it around and wear on the inside. (as Boy 2): What does it have to do with- OW! Boy 1: ​Where’s the ring? Girl 1: Here’s the ring! Ring pop! NC: Ok, what the hell? You told me there was a ring, I thought I was fighting the school bully. I was pissing myself with fear when it was all just a pun for edible jewelery? Girl 1: Ring Pop! NC: Yeah, here’s your pop. ♪ Wear a ring around your finger ♪ ♪ Ring Pop! ♪ Girl 3: I love the way your ring looks! Girl 4: I love the way my ring tastes! Girl 3: Ring Pop! Man 1: Can I get some milk, please? Man 2: She got the last one. NC: Believe it or not, there was a time when the funniest commercials you could watch were milk commercials. Yeah, in the early 90s milk sales were down, so the California Milk Processor Board hired renowned advertising agency, Goodby Silverstein & Partners to make milk… well, kinda cool! But how do you do that? But how do you do that? It’s milk! I mean, this was their advertising campaign before: NC: Clearly, it didn’t have that big an effect! But with the catchphrase of only 2 words, “Got milk?”, suddenly, milk was hilarious. Batcave Announcer: Attention, attention! Family thinks high toy price is a joke! NC: Oh, no! Kermit: Crumpets? Goddamn crumpets?! Are you shitting me?! We’re the friggin’ Muppets, not Teletubbies! Larry: I think if you considered- Kermit: No!
Larry: I think if you considered- NO! My grandfather was an old, Jewish sock and he came to this country to uphold our The Frog name! You don’t get me better deals, you’re letting a generation of FABRIC DOWN! Larry: Look, if you just think about it- Kermit: Oh, I see. You want me to think about it. Well, think about this, Larry. My banjo Rainbow-connecting to what’s left of your BALLS! NO CRUMPETS! Nancy? Nancy: Yes, Mr. F? Kermit: Could you run down to Bimmy’s and give me another six-pack of Hopping Frog Beer? Nancy: Don’t you think you’ve had enough, Mr. F? Kermit: I’ll tell you when I’ve HAD ENOUGH! Nancy: Oh! You washed-up BASTARD! Kermit: [Sigh] When did the rainbow fade? NC: Wow. I got really depressing on that one, didn’t I? Well… Here’s hopefully a more chipper commercial to make you feel better. You were still thinking about Kermit, weren’t you? So was I. NC: OK, c’mon, c’mon, maybe I won’t think of the PSA. Pound Puppies. Pound. Give us a pound, or we’ll pull the trigger. I’m sorry, you’re cute, but I need time! Girl 1: Mickey, come over for a party. NC: Kid, you are way too young to be into Mickey Mouse watching you potty. Also, you sound relatively disinterested in it. Girl 1: Mickey, come over for a party. NC: To be fair, it’s better than this obviously confused kid. Girl 2: Sorry, wrong number. NC: Who says that to a character phone? That’s like playing Mario Bros. and saying… “This has nothing to do with plumbing.” ♪ I can have a talk with Mickey Mouse, from anywhere inside my house ♪ Bambi: Hello, this is Bambi. My mother and I are- AAAAA- Frollo: Hello, this is Judge Frollo. My sexual lust for gypsy girls half my age burns like Hell’s fire- Cast of Song of the South: Hello, we’re the cast from Song of the South. Crows: Hello, we the crows from Dumbo! NC: You know what you’re doing. I know what that wink means. You know what you’re doing. NC: Nope, nope, I am not saying a thing! I am not saying a thing! You hear me? Not a goddamn word! But you think way too highly of me if you think I’m not gonna re-edit this in a humorous way! Voice: HEEEEEY! YOU LOOK LIKE REAL JERKS! SO WHATCHA DOIN’? Rob: Oh, well, we’re going to a family reunion- Voice: SHUT UP! YOU’RE FIGHTING DINOSAURS NOW! Doug: AAAH! AAAH! AAAAA- Voice: HEY JERK, WHATCHA DOIN’? Malcolm: I got sweet potato yams made from potat- Voice: SHUT UP! YOU’RE GOING UP AGAINST… KILLER SKELETONS! Malcolm: AAAH! Voice: HEY JERK, WHATCHA DOIN’? Jim: Well, I’ve got some- Voice: SHUT UP, YOU’RE… IN A VOLCANO! Jim: AAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAH! Voice: HEY JERK! Barney: Um- Voice: SHUT UP! SPACE! Voice: HEY JERK! WHATCHA DOIN’?! Tamara: Oh! I just made pie. Voice: ACTUALLY THAT SOUNDS REALLY NICE. Tamara: It’s apple pie. Voice: THAT’S MY FAVOURITE. Tamara: Would you like a slice? Voice: PLEASE. Voice: THAT’S DELICIOUS. Tamara: Oh! Thank you. You know, the secret ingredient is- Voice: NOT TO BREAK DOWN THE MOOD BUT I THINK I KILLED YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY. Tamara: …what? Voice: YEAH… …I GAVE ONE TO A T-REX… …A SKELETON KILLED ANOTHER… …ONE OF THEM MELTED… …ANOTHER IS IN SPACE… …I KILLED YOUR DOG… …PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING YOU CHERISH IS GONE. Tamara: …well, I- Voice: I’M SORRY! I GET CARRIED AWAY SOMETIMES. Tamara: *spluttering, on the verge of crying* I-I don’t- Voice: BUT HEY, HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED ATARI’S POLE POSTITION? Tamara: *still on the verge of crying* No! Voice: IT’S A LOT OF FUN! YOU SHOULD TRY IT. Tamara: O-okay… Voice: *voice cracking* OK… WELL, I’M GONNA GO AWAY AND BE A VOICE, YOU HAVE REALLY NICE PIE. SORRY I KILLED YOUR FAMILY. Tamara: *sobbing* Okay… *sobs* I’ll check out Atari’s P-Pole Position… Voice: IT’S REALLY GOOD! Wow. Again, I went really dark on that one. Really dark. I am The Nostalgia Critic and… I don’t know why I look forward to this every year. I think I’m sick. REALLY SICK. yeah… Goddamn crumpets? Are you shitting me?! We’re the friggin’ Muppets, not Teletubbies! (Kermit’s head then hits the empty bottle of beer, it rolls and falls on the floor) No! No! My grandpa- (hits on the phone rapidly) Noooo! (Everyone in the room laughs) (Ball Buster Announcer) Try to bust your opponent’s balls.

100 thoughts on “War of the Commercials – Nostalgia Critic

  1. Britain is new Canada!! What did everyone think of the new commercial episode?
    Watch all the past commercial episodes here – https://youtu.be/3wJt3ayD1Rc

  2. Missed Joke Opportunity for Purr-tenders commercial: "You're not a rat, you're a cat" from An American Tail.

  3. 12:42 the reson why Kermit is in a Wilkson's comershl is cus thay are playing omosh that the 1st ever time Kermit was seen is from old wilkson's comershls

  4. When your dad says to mom, "You're a Ball Buster!"
    Jesus, this was too distasteful for Stephen King dialogue.

  5. 13:39 technically the muppets had this happen on multiple occasions during the shows original run. Muppet cannibalism was actually so commonplace on the show as a joke it almost got stale

  6. Mickey: "Hi this is Mickey Mouse!"
    Snow White: "I'm Snow White!"
    Donald "WAFLES, I NEED WAFLES!!"???

    Seriously, that is what I heard Donald say.

  7. Ok ik it was a commercial but the Alexander Hamilton one kinda made me sad for the guy who didn’t win the contest

  8. Commercial: the name of the game is ball buster

    Me: laughs so hard that even the sound wont come off

  9. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEO_U-Gpch8&t=903s Here's some commercial material for 2019's commercial special Doug

  10. So was it the got milk commercials that created the weird cookies and milk association americans have?

  11. The giant crumpets advert is made mainly made for Britain because crumpets are a bit of a thing here there very popular

  12. I am surprised the angry video game nerd did not show up during the tiger commercial

  13. NC: Here’s hopefully a more chipper commercial to make you feel better.
    A D-Day ad plays
    Me: Nice

  14. Excuse me, Nostalgia Critic! RSPCA actually stands for Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Don't you understand that?

  15. I played Pole Position when I was a kid… It kept me occupied for HOURS as I kept losing because I had NO idea you were supposed to shift gears! (There was no instruction manual)
    I always wondered why the heck the car EXPLODED when it hit a sign when it should have had a health bar or something…

  16. I think my favorite thing about these nostalgic commercial videos is how the Nostalgic Critic is getting more and more excited to just start the video with each passing episode XD

  17. "What's wrong with his voice?".

    What's wrong with his voice!? What the hell is wrong with the movement with his hand!?

  18. Is he just jealous that Michael Bay makes great movies and he makes Suburban Knights?

  19. 23:05 Ball Buster, right up there with the Wonder Boner, Johnson and Wet Banana on the dirty sounding products. XD

  20. I liked the Ring Pop commercial, but the Blow Pops with the giant cardboard fruit was my FAVORITE!

  21. what they mean is if you give them the money they will be able to keep the dogs longer and won't have to kill them

  22. Now "So Happy Together" brings to mind Nintendo characters knocking each other senseless.
    Wow that Ring Pop must have cost three….seconds of his allowance.
    Now thanks to Lin Manuel Miranda, the whole world knows that Alexander Hamilton was shot by "Raron Rurr."

    Is this really a Batman and Robin-type situation? But then again Cat Woman stole Diet Coke and Lex Luthor kidnapped Super Man to get the secret of his peanut butter.
    "You're not a bunny. You're a cat!" You're not a genius. You're a dumb kid!
    Was the Eliminator trying to be an updated Johnny 7?

    The Crumpet Show? I am actually missing the reboot.
    Oh, that Monster Muppet always ate the little Muppets. That was his thing.
    It doesn't help that How Much Is That Doggy In That Window? is hard to take seriously when it looks too much like the infamous National Lampoon magazine cover.
    And the dog's scared expression looked like they were really going to do it makes it darker.
    Now when I see Pound Puppies, I think of the movie review "You can love them, you can pet them, but don't forget them at the pound…… The pound blows!"

    Did Donald just say "Rough House, Mickey, rough house?"
    Not even Tiger Woods made golf exciting.

    Maybe the Ball Sack creators were interested in French Literature and named it for Henri Balzac?
    No, never mind they're just perverted idiots.
    I can't prove all of them didn't seriously realize how dirty the product name would be, but the woman's wink in the Ball Buster commercial suggested they knew exactly what they were doing.

    All these years, not laughing at the name Super Soaker wasted.🤣
    "HEY YOU LOOK LIKE A REAL JERK!!!" Is it alright that I sympathize already with Biff, Muffy, Buffy, and Biff Jr.? They were just going on a quiet drive minding their own business when Sam Kinison-wanna be yells at them putting them in death defying situations! "HEY, NARRATOR, YOU ARE A REAL ASSHOLE!"

    I love when Barney and the late great Sandra Walker played along with their son's shenanigans.

  23. 14:30 CRUMPETS?! GODDAMN CRUMPETS?! ARE YOU S**TING ME?!!? WE'RE THE FREAKING MUPPETS, NOT TELLETUBIES!!!

  24. “Here’s hopefully a more chipper commercial to make you feel better”
    Anti-vape commercial: allow me to introduce myself

  25. I love Hamilton. When I rewatched this video with the information of Alexander Hamilton exsistance, its now awesome.

  26. 12:45 Muppets have always done commercials.

    By the way, does anyone here drink Wilkins Coffee?

  27. What are you on bucket of rainbow 🌈 what the hell hobbits and Gandalf and Aragorn I guess.

  28. The name is ball buster your a ball buster try to bust your opponent (male or females) balls.

  29. what happen to the subtitles is broken

    can you fix it anyone?

  30. I saw the dog one in a cursed comerciales playlist so was wunder boner and Oozinator

  31. I literally got a Muppet portal commercial after you reviewed the crumpet Muppet commercial

  32. That Got Milk commercial was actually recreated by (some of) the cast of Hamilton (at least Burr)

  33. Omg Doug keep them coming if I ever want to have a good laugh I watch your nostalgic commercials they're hilarious

  34. 2:10
    When you get a birthday present that you don’t like but you have to pretend

  35. “Give us a pound, or we’ll have to pull the trigger”
    cough extortion cough

  36. Girl: bucket of rainbows.
    Nostalgia critic: what are you on?
    Me: I think she might be on LSD.

  37. "They're thick and super fluffy! I know what THAT feels like!" Well, THAT sounds completely CLEAN and NON-inuendo-laden. 😉 My 1989 GameBoy Tetris game was more exciting than that stupid Tiger thing. BALZAC! I'd have NEVER stopped laughing if I'd seen that one! Oh….BALL-BUSTER? NEVER MIND! ROTFLMFAO! The Pole Position ad looks WEIRD, though. I'd HATE being dropped into some race-car at 95 miles an hour! "It'll BUST YOUR CRACK"??? : O

  38. Why the hell did Critic kinda had some Beetlejuice energy going on from 27:38 and till the end of that scene???

  39. it was a commercial with the two old muppets .so yes, i was still thinking about Kermit

  40. speaking as somebody in England that had to live through that muppet crumpet shite i can say that YES it was as bad as it seams and before you ask yes this ad and merkat puppets selling us car insurance is what is STILL getting us through the recession/ Brexit and all the shite we have do deal with. you should do a whole reaction video to British safety ad's ( public information films) from the 1970's. trust me they are funny and scary in equal measure.

  41. NC:An obsessed Alexander Hamilton fan

    Me: which one out of the thousands

  42. "Who shot Alexander Hamilton in that famous duel?"
    What, was that a hard trivia question once upon a time, long ago, when that commercial was made? The answer is of course, AARON BURR, SIR!

    I had a similar automatic fangirl reaction upon hearing the words "Simon's Quest."

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